Yesterday was the first day that I felt an emotion I haven't felt in a while - pure happiness. I felt balanced, boosted and more confident with a genuine smile on my face. I'm not saying that when I am in a depressive state that I can't feel happiness but its more fleeting moments rather than being genuinely content and happy.
The feeling didn't last long - it was just for the afternoon and early evening but it felt so nice to feel normal for once. With BPD your mood tends to fluctuate very easily, so one hour you can be super happy while the next you are feeling despair. This is why it can be misdiagnosed as bipolar.
That's all I have to say really. I just wanted to document a positive feeling, rather than only writing about the dark days, so when I look back I will remember there has been certain glimmers of sunshine through the clouds of depression and that in turn will give me hope.
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