Reading and podcasts have also been amazing. On the first few days after coming out of hospital, I could barely move or concentrate on anything, unable to sleep or distract myself. TV irritated me, music brought too many painful memories and so instead just awful thoughts swirled around my head. The only thing that seemed to marginally help were podcasts. Funny ones, factual ones, stories, autobiographies you name it! They helped to dull the thoughts a little and lull me to a (fitful) sleep. Now, I've been loving them just as much, in particular to research mental health. To recover, I've been trying to arm myself with as many facts as possible and coping mechanisms, to understand BPD better and also to realise I am not alone.I listened to a great episode of the Penguin podcast, hosted by David Baddiel where Ruby Wax was talking about her new book Frazzled. There are also lots of others out there such as Rethink BPD and Mental Illness Happy Hour.
In terms of reading, I have re-discovered my love for all types of fiction and also autobiographies. The most recent book was Mad Girl by Bryony Gordon, which although is not entirely relevant to me, I can identify to lots of sections and I like that it sheds more of a humours light on mental illness.
I've also discovered a love for poetry. Bloom by Beau Taplin and Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur are much more contemporary than the 'classics' but so many of the poems in these books really spoke to me and my situation. They give me comfort and an outlet for my emotions, which I can find really hard to channel positively. You can find both those authors on Instagram. I've also tried my hand at writing my own poetry. Probably awful, but again it has helped me to articulate how I am feeling which I have always found very difficult, and part of what I am working on during my therapy sessions.I'm sure I will post some of the things I come up with on here. Just please don't be harsh haha.
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